Me, Mulayam, Mayawati, and Mahila Arakhsan

From the enthusiasm surrounding the women's reservation bill, it seems no one really minds.

Is there one politician who has the courage to speak up against the obvious flaws of such a reservation?
Mulayam Singh!Mayawati!?!
Surprise, but, thank you, Mr. Singh! How ironic, who would have ever thought, I would have similar positions as Mulayam Singh and Mayawati on any issue under the sun.
Or the moon.
Or not under the moon, like on amavasya.
Let's say any issue under the sky.

But lets see why they oppose it.
Can it be more disappointing? The only opposition to women's reservation bill is because there is no reservation within the reservation. How pathetic and dismal is the politics of a country where not a single politician can oppose the women's reservation by arguing that reservations are bad policy in the long term ?

Let's Share the Blame

Mr. Modi will not have the Indian Paisa League being played in Hyderabad, or even in Andhra Pradesh. It is because of the unrest, which is simmering like boiling Tel(angana).

But that was before Chidambaram had to defend the non-failure of intelligence. Which we suppose means that he admits failure of something else. Because a bomb did go off.

German Bakery, Pune. Near Osho Ashram. Who has been there? David Headley.
But we knew him already. So, Chidambaram is right. Even, I can guess the target area. It can't be due to non-failure of intelligence.

Who has not been there? The police. Aah, that's the failure!
Where were the police so busy? They were are guarding the hard targets! As Chidambaram says, German Bakery, Pune is a soft target. Police can't be there frisking everyone.

Hmmmm...I know...The police were at the Bihar girl's wedding which the girl called off because the groom danced in an inebriated state. Its a hard target!!

No, that's stupid. Bihar and Pune are not so near (unless we are in an inebriated state). ....But, I know the real one....the police were protecting SRK's film screenings. Udhav threatened SRK's movies, which is why the media loved it and made it a sensation, which is why Ashok Chavan had to protect the masses from the Udhav's (or Shiv's) Sena by sending in the police. And as we all know, in any such sequence of events, its only the last person who commits the mistake is a sinner and thus, Ashok Chavan is the sinner!! Thanks to Udhav Thackeray for explaining this reasoning !!!

But lets not learn logical reasoning from the Sena......
Yet, maybe Ashok Chavan is to be blamed. Ok. Not really. But maybe the State Government can share the blame if more than half of the police were busy guarding the VIPs. Thanks to Chetan Kothari, RTI activist, we know this is true.

Mr. Modi, you don't have to worry though. I suppose you and Indian Paisa League fraternity will be in VIP category. Which makes it even more surprising, that you choose to neglect Hyderabad and embrace Mumbai twice. And Mumbai is not Pune, which means you don't have to pack off your bags and run to Pakistan for the IPL, just because of one bomb. I am happy for you, because I have a feeling that South Africa is busy for the football world cup this time around.

Licking the Gandhi Boots!

Finally, a Desizen can make some sense out of the fact that Singh is King, and that the madness is over. Unfortunately, the Congress leaders are making sure that it makes no sense at all. While a Desizen thinks country elected a leader in Singh, all the Congress party members may imagine is a pair of 2 boots.

Fellow Desizens, welcome to another 5 years of boot-licking!

• "I think he should be prime minister now" - said Jyotiraditya Scindia. (Link)
  
• "I am not undermining anyone but I am saying that Rahul Gandhi should be Prime Minister. He has all the qualities and capabilities to be the PM," Scindia said. (Link)
  
• "Successful rule begins and ends with Congress and the Gandhi family." - Congress activist Parag Jain. (Link)
• “Rahul can claim the (PM) chair whenever he wants,” said Prithviraj Chavan of Congress. (Link)
  
• "Voices are already there. It's a question of time," senior Congress leader Digvijay Singh told local television when asked about Gandhi's future as leader. (Link)
  

By the way, if there is a Best BootLicker Booty to be gained anywhere, please, please give it to Mr Scindia. He who so conveniently forgot whom he and his party had projected as the Prime Ministerial candidate and he who is so willing to betray the entire country on the first day itself.

Disclaimer: The subjects of ridicule in this case are the boot lickers, and not the owner of the boots.

Mr. Indobama

The Dream Party is releasing its manifesto. Highlights:
1. Projecting Mr. Indobama as their prime-ministerial candidate.
2. A road-map for making India a just and equal society where castes will vanish, thus negating the necessity of reservations. Encouraging NGOs like Marriages for Equality.
3. Police Reforms ...
...
...
...

And then Pyaare wakes up. Pyaare is frustrated his dream is broken. He checks out the real news which is reporting the red hot election issues:

#1: Which word is more insulting Gudiya or Budhiya? Indeed!

# 2: Should Indian PrimeMinisterial candidates be wrestlers?

# 3: Who will be the next shoe target?

# 4: Should we throw Advani and Vajpayee to Arabic sea?
(Now, we understand why one would need a wrestler as a P.M.)

#5: Whose hands should be cut? And who should be flattened by a roller?

Hmmmm...Where can Pyaare find a no non-sense sincere debate? Ah-yes....A reputed TV channel is holding the ultimate debate between Arun Jaitley vs Kapil Sibal.
...
...
The question is how will BJP ensure security, and Jaitley's answer is not what BJP will do but what UPA didn't do --- number of terrorist attacks during UPA rule, 26/11.....
And Sibal's answer is symmetrical --- Khandahar, parliament attack...
...
...

Phew! Pyaare goes searching for Indobama.

The Confused Desi Voter

Pyareylal doesn't take this decision lightly. 26/11 woke him up. He wants to make a informed decision before voting.

But Pyaare is confused. Pyaare read the manifestoes of both the BJP and the Congress. Both have promised 'increased security and tackling terror'. Both have promised 'economic prosperity'. Both have promised tapping into the potential of 'Pravasi Desis'. Blah Blah Blah........
Not helpful! All looks same to Pyaare.

Hmmmm. Poor Pyaare is confused. The Congress gives ticket to Mani Kumar Subba who is not an Indian citizen! And the BJP has MLAs like Maya Kodnani.

Things were easier at the last elections. A love or hate relation with the Gandhi name used to make the decision a no-brainer. Love them and vote for Congress OR hate them and vote for BJP. But today, Gandhis are everywhere, from BJP to Congress, from Jnanpath to Jail.
Pyaare feels we have tried enough of Gandhi DNAs. The country needs a genetic makeover.

Mayawati? Mulayam Singh? Laloo Yadav? Ram Vilas Paswan?
Pyaare can't imagine one of them going to G-20 meeting and being world leaders.

Pyaare is dejected, and despaired.

...
...
...

Pyaare searches a lot in internet and sees a glimmer of HOPE. And the hope is not about importing Obama. Its about ...

1. Parties like Lok Satta. Lok Satta is doing what the Congress and BJP would never do. It is giving tickets to candidates who first win internal elections. Finally a party with true democracy! India is on path to shed its tag of pseudo-democracy! Pyaare is happy.
2. Pyaare is encouraged by NGOs ..... like Janaagraha
3. .... like ADR
4. .... Google's cool initiatives
5. and who else but Amir Khan!

Pyaare is dozing off dreaming about Indian politics which is non-dynastic, non-communal, non-divisive....

Priviledged, Deprived and Confused

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The self-immolation didn't work. Protests didn't work. Hunger strikes didn't work.
And so there will be more reservations in future.
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Bhaiyon aur Behenon : there is only one solution for this - Marriages. This movement is spearheaded by the organisation- Marriages for Equality (MoE).

Come on young bloods! Marry outside your caste. Just Do it. Marriages for Equality is going to help you. Here is how:

All eligible and single youth of "upper caste", ( Upper caste? - What the hell? This is not some Rail Compartment with Upper and Lower fundas. MoE refers to them as QDC - Quota Deprived Caste) please get your-self registered at the following website www.castes-wipe-out.com.
By registering you agree to be a volunteer who is available and is willing to get married to a girl/guy from the QPC (These are the Quota Priviledged Castes - in Indian Parliamentary lingo this includes SCs, STs and OBCs)

Marriage for Equality will maintain a database of all eligible guys and girls of Quota Priviledged Castes. The young volunteers from the Quota Deprived Caste will then be counselled as to which girl/guy is suitable for him/her. The young hearts need not worry, they will be given all liberty of picking their own choice, as long as the prospective spouse is from Quota Priviledged Castes.

Since the families and old generations are expected to oppose the marriage - the only way is to make the prospects fall Head over Heels in love with you. The Quota Deprived Caste guy/girl will be trained by world renowed Love Gurus to achieve this.

All the children of these couples will belong to a new category - Confused Caste. The mission of the Marriages for Equality is to make India the country of one class of Citizens- Confused Castes ones.

Equality. Please.
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ORKUT


Finally I had enough of orkut. I can't take the crap all alone, and so you guys gotcha get a share of it.

I mean look at the things people do in Orkut. Firstly, scrapping. Ok scrap, fine - it helps you publicly pull someone's legs.. But don't make it a Race to prove "I am the smartest". The way they write them these days ...ooffff.

And then the testimonials. If you read the testimonials doing the rounds in Orkut, you will wonder why is there evil in this world. Come on, if you believe what your friends have to say about each other, everyone is so perfect, so affectionate, loving, caring, simply the best yaar, sweetest, nicest, first i met xyz he/she was possesive this that --- 3 yrs into our frnship --- i found the opposite, so charming, jack of all trades, gentle, greatest guy once you know him (coz he takes time to open up), ...blah blah ...you will believe we are all the citizens of Ram Rajya. And they said this is the Kaliyug - man will kill man. Dump those scriptures.

And while we on the topic, there are dumbs who write a personal mail where they should have written a testimonial, and these dumbs have the dumbest friends who then accept such testimonials (or whatever they are now) and then keep it publicly displayed.
Here is an example of such a testimonial,
"Hey where are you these days? Long time no see! I am in blah blah now, my phone no. is !@#$#%$% please contact me asap. Lots of catching up to do na. Take Care"

So tell me now, who is more dumb? The guy who accepted such a testimonial or the one who wrote it? Why can't they use the personal message service provided by Orkut??

And oh let me tell you some of worst Orkut pick up lines I came across.

--- Hey our surnames are same. Guess we might be related. Lets be friends (I mean Wow!, simply wow!)

--- Such a cute smile/photo/profile. Can I be your friend? (Orkut has changed the definition of friendship - its nothing but few clicks of that damn mouse.)

--- I found your profile in my friends profile. Can we be friends? (Come on, is there a rule or what?)

Arey oh, how can I forget this. My friend changed his status to "Committed". I shoot him a mail - Hey dude, who is the "lucky lamb" ? and Congrats....Guess the reply...
"yaar, single likhne se koi ladki orkut mein ghaasn nahi deti hain, tabhi committed dikha raha hoon. Ab dosti karunga, to ladki sochegi safe hain, tab dheere dheere pataunga na"

Wow...this is called strategy....!! They go on to become the Love Gurus. I guess.

Again this relationship thing reminds me, I am ready to pay Orkut if they provide an option for the status -- "Single, and Not Looking". Tired of explaining people that if I don't provide an answer to my relationship status, it doesn't mean I am dating someone.

There is more, people also like to play hide and seek with Orkut. They join, they make a lot of noise, and then they quit, and then they join again, and then make a lot of noise.

And people hate if you delete their scraps. Even if it is your ScrapLand. Even if it reveals something you consider is about your private life. You have to keep it intact - For the Public. Yuckoos.

Before I wind up, I confess I am guitly of some of the above accusations. :-P

Happy Orkutting.